Have you ever wondered how in all your life, you are doing only one thing – catching up? It’s as if we are forever chasing dreams and aspirations that we may not really desire but have been hard wired due to the amount of hope and aspiration that has been filled in by our near and dear ones.
Just think back, what was the last major decision you took that seemed out of line for the normal world? A decision that was based on just your choice than the choices made by some one else and which you are following blindly.
Our first steps at catching up are implanted in our brains by our parents. Early in school we are constantly encouraged to score high marks just because the neighbor’s son chintu has scored them and why should you be any different. This at a time when you actually do not believe in anything but want to spend your time doing what interests you.
By the time we hit the pre-teens, the implantation of idea is nearly complete. Now we no longer need the goading of our parents to try and beat chintu, we feel determined that we need to come on top never mind if that means sacrificing what we love doing most.
There are girls who have excelled in Music / Dance leaving it all together by the time they reach the X std or XII std since they now seriously believe that Music and Dance are more of a hindrance to their goal of becoming a Doctor or Engineer. And why a Doctor or a Engineer, well that is because it’s not their goal but something that every other friend of her aspires for and hence should be her aspiration too.
While the family members applaud the child in the early years when she starts to learn music / dance and yearns for her to show the same when guests arrive, they are the first to berate the same person in case, horror of horrors, the same child now wants to achieve something big in the are of her liking, Music for instance. It’s good as long as it co-habits with the other aims, but once it becomes her main goal, counseling starts to try and wean away from her choice to the choice others have made and which she too should make.
Once the person gets into Engineering, there starts the next race, the rat race which will take hold for the next couple of decades if not more of the person. The idea as usual is to first score good marks so that you can get a great paying job and nowadays that means getting into software engineering even if one has chosen mechanical engineering as his subject and once into a job try and get promotions every other year so that you can make more money than that friend of yours who you despise.
The goal post has now completely shifted from what you wanted to become to what the market wants you to become. Even without knowing, you have chosen a path that you feel you were always destined for but one which is nothing more than a hard wiring that has taken place from your birth.
In my own personal experience, the above catching up is true for most of my friends, say a ratio of 8 / 10. The question is, are you still catching up?